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So I ask, do I take the chance and go with the new girl that could possibly be the girl I have been waiting for my whole life, or do I try again with the girl who has been in most of my dreams since the day I knew her?

I know rushing into a relationship is bad, and I won’t be rushing with either of these two women.

We’ve all partied out, and thoughts turn, naturally, to our sexuality, piqued by the admission of a man in our group, who, if we are to go by stereotypes, could pass for straight, but is more likely to be gay.

“I’ve been passionately in love with a woman,” R says, to a table of skeptics, “but I’ve also fallen deeply in love with a man.

With the first woman, I could see our whole lives together. We have a great connection, and I know it could be something real if we want it to be. We both watched and helped each other go through one bad relationship after another.

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If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .I know that if I want the first girl, she is all mine and I would be all hers.In the same token, I know I could love the other woman our whole lives, but I have to make her realize that I am going to be there for her no matter what the case.

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